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The Real Heartbreak


Do you know how it feels? The real heartbreak,

Real heartbreak is being left by someone dearest in your life.  I’ve been experiencing lately, someone that very important in my life has been passed away.

It’s my father. He’s leaving without a single warn, it’s way too quickly..too shocking…too painful. Even until now  I still don’t believe that he’s gone.

It was a peaceful evening, just like usual i just came back from work. There he was, sitting normally in the chair while watching tv and sipping glass of tea that my mom usually made. Then we casually discussing something on tv..The Presidential Election Disputation. At that time, I didn’t know that the conversation will be my last conversation with him. After that I excused myself for take a bath, and he continuing what he done before, munching some snacks and watching tv.

When I finished, he already went to the shop, our shop that my parents keeping every evening. It was very usual evening…until around 8 p.m. my phone rang. It was my mom, she said that my father suddenly passed out. And after that he never gain his consciousness until the day he passed away.

It’s just unacceptable,remembering how healthy he was few hours before. Doctor said that he had a hypertension and followed with stroke attack, and unfortunately some blood vessels inside his head were already break. I cried, we cried…my father is in his comatose state, there’s just a tiny hope that my father will gain his consciousness and back to normal. They said even my father could pass his comatose state, he barely able to move half of his body…that’s so heartbreaking. All we can do just pray..and pray, hoping there’s a miracle that could bring my father back. But it seems that God love my father more than us. It was afternoon, 2 days after my father laying unconscious in the hospital’s intensive care unit, he left me…he left us. The tears that I’ve been held for few days flowing, the fake ‘im okay’ act I’ve been keeping in front of my mother,brothers,and sisters had been collapse. It’s hurt seeing him laying there…lifeless.

The one who always help my art assignments during school, The one who drove and picked me up to work for almost 2 years, The one who kept saying “Everything’s okay” when I know something’s ain’t gonna be okay. The one who replied my message with “Siap komandan kecil !” though i often grumpily texting him to picked me up at work. He’s great father, he made mistakes…of course we all do make mistakes. He’s a hard worker, a sleepy head, a good singer, and a great artist. Now he's no longer here.

Do you know what the real heartbreak is?

Realizing something is missing in your life after he passed away. Sure things changed a lot, someone as a strong pillar in my family has been collapsed. I feel bad for not be able to be a good daughter during his life, he might be suffering a lot because of me. Now he’s resting peacefully there, all i can do is pray and keep doing my best because life must be so rough ahead.



Sleep well, Father.
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